Tweet
A New Element Discovered
Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to
science.
The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neuron, 25 assistant neurons,
88 deputy neurons, and 198 assistant deputy neurons, giving it an atomic
mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected, because it impedes every action with
which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally
take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neurons and deputy neurons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neurons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many
peons but twice as many morons.
Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to
science.
The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neuron, 25 assistant neurons,
88 deputy neurons, and 198 assistant deputy neurons, giving it an atomic
mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected, because it impedes every action with
which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally
take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neurons and deputy neurons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neurons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many
peons but twice as many morons.
Comment